Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Sibling rivalry…

It happens in every family.

When I was little, my mom became known as the “witch doctor” for a season because she got on a crazy health kick which meant no sugar in the house except on rare occasions.  As a kid, this was cruel and unusual punishment!  Therefore, when candy did come into the house, we (mainly I) got a “little” possessive about it.

I can remember one occasion with searing guilt.  One of my favorite candies at the time was Sugar Daddy…pure bliss on a stick! – do you remember those??  You’d sink your teeth into the caramel and they’d be stuck permanently! – what delicious delight!  Well, on this certain day, my mom grabbed our Sugar Daddies out from the freezer (they’re even better frozen) and gave them to us to lick for a bit before she’d put them away (yes…I don’t think we were never allowed to eat a whole one in one sitting…see, torture!).  One of the candies was QUITE a bit bigger than the other one, so I quickly claimed it as mine!  My brother on the other hand was certain it was his…and the quarrel ensued.  I truly knew in my heart it probably wasn’t mind (hence the searing guilt to this day) but I really really wanted it…so, in my sweet sinfulness, I argued with my brother.  In order to solve the problem, my mom got real creative and had us each put our teeth up against the candy since there were teeth marks all over it! – mine just happen to fit better than Jared’s…so I got it! – and OHHH my goodness was he STEAMING mad at me!  But, at the time I was overcome with joy at my sinful victory!  However, to this day, I remember his look and his anger.  YIKES!!  ;)  Good thing we love each other now!

I’m sure you all have stories like this when you were growing up.  But perhaps you are still creating memories like this today with people in your own lives…co-workers, children, spouses, frien-emies?!  We all have a tendency towards “sibling” rivalry because our yucky flesh is always trying to get stroked, to feel important, significant and special.  And that tendency can and will destroy relationships.

Such as in the story of Cain and Abel.  This story fascinates me because their parents, Adam & Eve, were the first people ever made and the only people to walk with God in complete perfection.  They would have known the glory of God, seen the beauty of a perfect world and saw and felt the devastation of sin more than any other human being.  You’d think they would have raised their boys to have huge knowledge of the power of evil, the beauty of good, the depth of God’s love and greatness of His glory.

Perhaps they did.

But what clouds truth, light and goodness? – Jealousy.  Selfishness.  Pride.

When it was time to present offerings to God for their sin, Abel brought a lamb and offered a blood sacrifice not of himself.  Cain brought fruits and vegetables, a product of his own toil and work of his hands in hopes of being made righteous before God.  God accepted Abel’s humble blood sacrifice but not Cain’s based on his own efforts.  Therefore, Cain in his anger and jealousy killed Abel.

So, what did God do?

I love how tender He is.  When Cain was caught in sin with his brother’s blood on his hands, or when Adam and Eve were caught in their own sin in the garden of Eden, did God rain fire from heaven down upon them or yell in His righteous anger at them?!  No.  He asked a simple question.

“Where is Abel thy brother?”  Or to Cain’s parents in the garden, “Where are you?”

Do you think God misplaced Abel and couldn’t find him or forgot where Adam and Even were?  “Oh no!  Where did I put those two people I just made?!?  Hmmmm…”  Haha!!  Oh, I love the Lord.  He gives us a chance to come clean.  To confess, to run back to Him on our own.  He’s a perfect gentleman!

The Lord asks these questions because He cares about our hearts.  Where are we at…are we far from Him?  Where is {insert your relative, co-worker, husband, child’s name here}?  What is our heart towards these people?  He’s whispering that question into your heart right now.  He wants to know if we know where they are at?  Are we concerned for them? – do we care about them?  How does that show?

How do we answer?

Do we make excuses?  Do we justify our sin away?  Do we hide?  Do we separate ourselves from a loving Father who cares desperately for us and for them?

Cain replied, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”  In other words God…why should I care about where he is?

How many times have I tried washing away my guilt with a defensive remark like that?!  When I get angry at my kids for their lack of obedience, or when I feel bitterness rising in me towards my husband because of his busyness, or when I am unforgiving towards a relative who has hurt me, how many times have I thought, “They deserve it!”  or “Why should I care?!”  or “How dare they?” or “If only they would…”.  Whatever we say to ourselves to justify our anger, bitterness, lack of forgiveness and hatred draws us away from God…never closer.

Did you know, we are our brother’s keeper!?  It’s a mighty call we have been given.

We are the body of Christ.  We are all soldiers fighting for the same cause.  Yet we cut down our own people, slay our own body parts off, hurt those we are called to love out of selfishness, pride and jealousy.  Oh Father forgive us for the way we treat your kids!

The Lord cares about His kids so much that He sent His own son to die for them.  He knows the number of hairs on everyone’s head…not just mine.  He died for everyone’s sin…not just mine.  He loves my mean neighbor, the insensitive classroom mom, my unkind relatives, my rude boss, my boasting co-worker…as much as me.  He extends everyone the same grace…not just me.  His love and grace is not rightfully more mine than anyone else’s!

If we truly love God, we will love what He loves…and He LOVES His people.

I think the longer we are Christians, the more we begin to feel entitled to God’s love and grace and forget it has nothing to do with us.  It’s not just me and God in our own little relationship!  I don’t own Him and His love.  He loves the ENTIRE world because He made us.  He loves ALL of us even while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us! (Romans 5:8).  He wishes NONE should perish but everyone should have eternal life (John 3:16).  He longs for ALL the people in our lives to know Him and the power of His resurrection and love…not just me.

He chooses us to help Him spread the good news! He chose you so that you might bear fruit!  He asks us to love so that His “joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete”.

When we realize we are chosen, forgiven and deeply loved not of ourselves or what we’ve done, we can pass it on because it’s not ours to keep.  It’s no longer our place to judge because He already did that.  It’s Christ in us.  He asks us to love with HIS unfailing, undeserving, gracious love because He knows only His love and His amazing grace has the power to change the world!

The only hope for me, for my husband, for my kids, for my boss, friends, relatives and neighbors is to know the LOVE of Christ.  To know He’s crazy wild for them!  Can you imagine how the life of your husband, kids, friends, neighbors would change if they truly understood the LOVE of Christ?!?!?  They would think different.  They would treat people differently.  They would be free, happier and at peace!   They would be more tender-hearted, forgiving, gracious and full of mercy.  I want my friends, neighbors, kids, husband, relatives, co-workers, bosses to be like that! – it would be SO easy to be around them then!! LOL!!

Imagine!

THAT’S what will change the world…THAT’S what will change our relationships.  And it has NOTHING to do with us talking talking talking or preaching preaching preaching.  It is simply loving loving loving especially when they don’t deserve it! – WE didn’t deserve it either.  It’s the Lord’s kindness that brings men to repentance.  Not preaching.  Not guilt trips.  Not talking or lecturing.  Not the silent treatment.

I am my brother’s keeper.

Jesus calls us to “Feed my sheep!”.  He poured out his blood to wash me and make me clean so I could have fellowship with Him and know His love.  Then He says, go and do the same.  Feed my people.  Love them.  Be my hands and feet!  Care for them the way I do…unto death.  Not because they deserve it, not because you’ll be more righteous…but because my love has changed you!  Jesus says, through YOU I will touch the untouchable, love the unlovable, forgive those who hurt you, give to those who steal from you and show them my love has no limits.  You are simply a vessel He will use.  Are you willing?

I am my brother’s keeper.

I am my sister’s keeper.

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put 
away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:31-32).

I have been bitter.  I have been angry.  I have not wanted to touch, pray for or take care of certain people in my life…and the love of the Father has been absent in those areas.  Confess your sin with me.  He is asking “Where are you?”  “Where are they in your heart?”  Don’t justify or defend yourself anymore.  Don’t hide it.  Let us not separate ourselves from the Father.  Allow the love of Christ to flow through you in forgiveness of your sins.  Then go and give that gift away so that those people you are thinking about will feel the love of their Creator.  Their lives will forever be changed and our lives will bear much fruit!

Yes, I am my brother’s keeper…will you be?